Carlitos' Way.

ED cannot help but think that Carlos Tevez's reported homesickness may have been averted had he bothered to learn English.

Fluent English-speaker Roque Santa Cruz spoke of his Manchester City team-mate's desire to be reunited with his family in Buenos Aires, saying he would not be surprised if the Argentina striker moved home soon.

Tevez is a player who divides opinion.

When a player divides opinion it is either because he is thought of as being bad but actually is not bad, or thought of as being good but is actually not good.

In the former category you have the Darren Fletchers of this world, unheralded and often mocked but important to the team, more so for the less obvious attributes such as teamwork and decision-making than for skill or pace.

In the latter category you have the entire England team, hyped through qualifiers but - with the exception of the implausibly-hated Ashley Cole - not quite up to the task when it really counts.

There is a third category of 'player who divides opinion', a category Tevez comes into.

It is the type of player who - when playing for their team - fans genuinely believe is one of them, someone who gives as much for the shirt as they would, working tirelessly on the pitch and wearing his heart on his sleeve.

But he is the type of player who - in reality - cares little for his club, the city or even the fans, knowing it is just another richly-rewarding stop-gap in his quest for an early retirement to the beach.

Neutrals or fans of other clubs - particularly those he has played for in the past - can often see this. Sometimes, as fans of City's nearest rivals will testify, even the club's own fans will take note.

Tevez constantly raises his profile and worth to a club and its fans with his unquestionable behaviour on the pitch.

But he always lowers expectations with his behaviour off it, creating drama with experienced, proven coaches, leaving enough uncertainty and speculation to pave the way for his next move.

If he is not questioning his use as a secondary striker (as he did at Old Trafford), he is questioning the gaffer's training methods or disappearing off to Argentina (as he has done at Eastlands).

Tevez has lived in London and Manchester and, while his clubs past and present boast some Spanish speakers, training-ground and pitch-side instructions will have been bellowed in English.

For four-and-a-half years Tevez has been living and working in England, in an English-speaking environment. He is a rich man, who can afford several hours of high-quality lessons each day, and who even has fellow Argentine co-workers offering to help.

But he still cannot master the basics of the language. He has admitted as much himself, and recently appeared in an ad for Pepsi using the selling-point that 'this promotion is so easy to explain even Tevez can do it in English'.

David Beckham hardly covered himself in Castilian glory but he at least tried - heck, it took him close to a decade to become comfortable speaking English in public. And ED has nothing but contempt for the breed of Costa-dwelling Brits for whom Spanish extends to the demand for a beer with their fish and chips.

But Carlos Tevez is not inarticulate and he is certainly not stupid.

Interviews in his native tongue are often outspoken and amusing, and he is canny enough to know how to keep fans on side yet maintain enough distance with his club that his inevitable exit is not unexpected.

For a Spanish speaker resident in the UK, one year of failing to reach a basic level of a relatively straightforward language such as English can be seen as unfortunate; a second year could be seen as careless; a third year is just downright rude.

Tevez has far exceeded that.

One cannot help but think that an underlying communication problem may be the root cause of his continued disagreements with his employers, and similarly with his constant craving to return to his homeland.

But all the evidence points to the belief that Tevez doesn't care. He was never in it for the long haul, so why bother?

Pacquiao's retirement talk jeopardises prospect of Mayweather fight

Yes indeed. Yes. Point made methinks. The game's "governing bodies" have have done little to earn that epithet over the decades. So, although we're usually the ones to suffer, and the men in national association blazer badges have more brass in their necks than an ornamental giraffe, it's always good to see FIFA and UEFA embarrassed.

Especially if that embarrassment takes place in the two most brutal ways possible: with perfect comic timing and in front of thousands of fans

Last season, 6th March 2010, on the day - the VERY DAY - FIFA declared goal-line technology was, for them and therefore us, a no-go, there arrived a perfect example of just how momentously stupid a decision that was. The event arrived behind the decree with the punctuality of a distinctly fastidious Teuton.